Toolkit
Talk early. Protect often.
Kids who know they can come to you, and will not be punished, are the hardest to exploit. The goal is trust, not surveillance.
Principles
Five rules for the conversation
- Start early and repeat. Short, regular talks beat one big lecture.
- Stay calm. If a reaction scares them, they will stop telling you things.
- Say it out loud: “You can tell me anything, and you will never be in trouble for telling me.”
- Explain the tricks, not just the rules: flattery, fast friendships, moving to private apps, secrets, and gifts.
- Make a plan together for what they will do if someone makes them uncomfortable.
Conversation starters
By age
Ages 5–9
- “Who do you talk to when you play games online?”
- “If someone asks you a secret question, what could you do?”
- “Your body is private. Nobody should ask for pictures of it.”
Ages 10–13
- “Has anyone you don’t know messaged you?”
- “Why might someone pretend to be your age?”
- “If a picture gets shared, who can help you?”
Ages 14–17
- “Do you know about scams where someone threatens to share photos?”
- “If it happened to a friend, how could you help?”
- “You can always come to me first, even if you made a mistake.”
If they tell you something scary
- Thank them for telling you
- Say it is not their fault
- Save evidence and report: see the checklist
- Get support if they are struggling
Safety is built before the crisis
Pick your part and see it through. Prevention works when people follow through.