AIP 110 · Parents & Caregivers
Parent & Caregiver Essentials
Build the everyday habits, rules and written plan that make a child likely to tell you early when something online goes wrong.
What you will be able to do
- Hold age-appropriate safety conversations with a 5-8, 9-12 and 13-17 year old using words that invite honesty.
- Write a family tech agreement that sets clear expectations without constant surveillance.
- Lock down accounts, privacy, location and passwords with a short, repeatable routine.
- Explain how games, chat apps and AI chatbots are used to build false trust, and set sensible limits.
- Complete a one-page family response plan card that every member can find in under a minute.
1 Module 1 of 5 · 35 min
Talking early, by age
- Describe why children tell adults who stay calm and do not punish.
- Choose words that fit a 5-8, 9-12 or 13-17 year old.
- Practice a short, repeatable opening line for each age band.
Children rarely hide trouble because they are bad. They hide it because they expect to lose something: their phone, your trust, or their friends. Your job in every conversation is to make telling cheaper than hiding. That one habit protects more children than any filter.
| Age band | What works | Example opening |
|---|---|---|
| 5-8 | Short, concrete, about bodies and ‘tricky’ requests. Repeat often. Use real words for body parts. | If anyone asks you to keep a secret from me, or shows you something that feels yucky, come tell me. You will never be in trouble for telling. |
| 9-12 | Explain how people pretend online. Use games and videos they already know. Ask before you tell. | People online can pretend to be kids. What would you do if a new player in your game asked you to switch to a private chat? |
| 13-17 | Treat them as capable. Talk about pressure, images, money and mistakes. Admit you also make mistakes. | If anyone ever pushes you to send a photo, or threatens you, I want to know. Whatever happened, I will be on your side first. |
- Thank them when they tell you something hard, before you react.
- Ask one question at a time and let silences sit.
- Pick low-pressure moments: car rides, walks, cooking. Side-by-side talks go better than face-to-face.
- Return to the topic in short, calm check-ins instead of one big lecture.
- Don’t threaten to take away devices as a first response.
- Don’t say ‘How could you be so stupid?’ or ‘I told you so’.
- Don’t lecture for more than two minutes.
- Don’t use scary stories about what ‘could happen’ to frighten them into obedience.
When they only say ‘I’m fine’
“Okay. I’m not going anywhere. If something changes, you can tell me, even if it is awkward or embarrassing.”
Your 12-year-old has become quieter and keeps turning their phone face-down. At dinner they say, ‘Some kid in my game is being weird,’ then shrug and stop.
What do you say next, and what do you avoid?
Show the debrief
A strong response is calm and curious: ‘Thanks for telling me. Weird how?’ Then listen without taking the phone or promising to fix it right away. Avoid alarm, interrogation, and threats about losing the game. The child just tested whether telling is safe.
Knowledge check
2 Module 2 of 5 · 35 min
A family tech agreement without constant surveillance
- Explain why shared rules work better than secret monitoring.
- Draft a family tech agreement that matches your children’s ages.
- Decide what check-ins and tools fit your family and tell children about them openly.
Rules that children help write are rules they are more likely to follow. Rules imposed in secret, or monitoring that children discover, often teach them to use hidden accounts. The goal is trust with sensible guardrails, not a house under surveillance.
A good agreement covers:
- Where devices live at night, and when the household unplugs together.
- Which apps and games are approved, and how new ones get approved.
- Who they can chat with and what they do if a stranger contacts them.
- What stays private (passwords, address, school, schedule).
- What happens if someone breaks a rule, and that telling about a problem is never punished.
- When and how parents will look at devices, announced in advance.
| Approach | Strength | Risk |
|---|---|---|
| Open agreement plus open check-ins | Builds trust, teaches judgment | Needs steady follow-through |
| Filters and screen-time tools used openly | Reduces exposure for younger kids | Not a substitute for conversation; older children can bypass them |
| Secret monitoring of messages | Short-term visibility | Damages trust and teaches children to hide |
Tell them what you can see
If you use any monitoring tools, tell your child exactly what they do and when you may look. Secret surveillance usually backfires, and children find out.
You discover your 14-year-old has a second account you did not know about. Nothing alarming is visible yet.
How do you raise it so you learn more, not less?
Show the debrief
Start with curiosity and honesty: ‘I found this account. I am not here to punish you. Help me understand why you made it.’ Revisit the agreement together. If you react with punishment, the next account will be better hidden.
Knowledge check
3 Module 3 of 5 · 35 min
Family operational security: accounts, privacy, location, passwords
- Set up a password manager and two-step verification for the household.
- Review privacy and location settings on the apps your family uses.
- Reduce what strangers can learn about a child’s routine.
Security professionals reduce risk by shrinking what an attacker can learn and what they can reach. A family can do the same in an evening. Less public detail means fewer ways for someone to build false trust, and strong account locks mean fewer ways to take over a child’s profile.
- Install a password manager for the family and let it create a unique password per account.
- Turn on two-step verification, preferably with an authenticator app, for email first, then social, gaming and school accounts.
- Make sure a parent holds the recovery email and phone number for children’s accounts.
- Set social and gaming profiles to private. Limit who can message, tag, or add them.
- Turn off location sharing and geotagging on photos. Share live location only with approved family members.
- Remove school name, team, and daily schedule from public bios and photos.
- Search your child’s username and see what public information appears.
- Review the friend or follower list together and remove people they do not know.
- Update devices and apps so security fixes install.
- Don’t reuse one password on several accounts.
- Don’t share passwords by text or screenshot.
- Don’t post a photo that shows a school logo, street sign or house number.
Related
A relative posts a public photo of your 11-year-old in a school jersey outside the school, with a caption naming the school and the day of the week they practice.
What are the risks and how do you respond?
Show the debrief
The post reveals identity, school, and routine, which helps someone build false trust or find a child. Ask the relative kindly to remove or restrict it, and offer a family rule for sharing photos. The aim is a shared habit, not blame.
Knowledge check
4 Module 4 of 5 · 35 min
Games, chat platforms and AI companions
- Explain how a stranger can use games and chat to build a false relationship.
- Set limits for voice chat, direct messages, and in-game purchases.
- Discuss AI chatbots and companion apps with your child.
Games and chat apps are places children make friends, so the goal is not to ban them. The goal is to know the shape of risk: strangers can be friendly, generous, and fast. A common pattern is a helpful new ‘friend’, then a move to a private app, then secrecy. AI chatbots add a new factor, since a child may form a close bond with software and share private information.
| Platform feature | Risk to watch for | Reasonable limit |
|---|---|---|
| Open voice or text chat in games | Strangers contact children directly | Limit chat to approved friends for younger children |
| Gifts and in-game currency | Gifts create obligation | Teach: unexpected gifts from strangers are a red flag |
| Moves to private or disappearing-message apps | Reduces oversight | Agree: tell a parent before moving any chat to another app |
| AI chatbots and companions | Private details shared, emotional dependence, inappropriate content | Check age ratings, settings and what data is kept. Talk about what not to share |
A simple rule that works
‘Anyone who asks you to keep a secret from me, or to move to another app, tells me. You will not be in trouble.’
Talking about an AI companion
“It can feel like a friend, but it is software run by a company. Don’t tell it your address, school, or things you would not want others to see. If it says something that feels wrong, show me.”
A player on your 13-year-old’s team keeps giving them rare in-game items, says they are ‘18 but get it’, and suggests moving to a private messaging app ‘because the game chat is laggy’.
Which signs matter, and what should happen next?
Show the debrief
Gifts, claimed understanding, and a push to a private app are a cluster, not a single sign. Have a calm talk, preserve the chat, report and block the account on the platform, and use the suspected-grooming playbook. Do not confront the person.
Knowledge check
5 Module 5 of 5 · 30 min
Building your family response plan card
- Complete a one-page response plan card.
- Name roles, a code word, and the first three calls.
- Set a date to rehearse the plan with the whole family.
In a crisis, people forget what they know. A short written plan removes the guesswork and keeps you calm. Responders in every field rehearse for this reason. The plan card is the plan on one page.
Fill in before you finish this module:
- Who we call first, and who is the backup.
- Our family code word that means ‘I need help, don’t ask why yet’.
- Hotline numbers saved in every adult’s phone: NCMEC CyberTipline 1-800-843-5678, National Human Trafficking Hotline 1-888-373-7888, 988, Childhelp 1-800-422-4453.
- Who holds the recovery email and phone for each child’s accounts.
- Where the evidence folder and log live.
- Our household rule: no one is in trouble for telling.
The six-step version:
- Prepare: keep this card current.
- Spot it: confirm what is really happening.
- Contain: protect the child, stop contact, do not pay.
- Clean up: save evidence, report, remove content.
- Recover: support the child and family.
- Learn: review without blame and update the plan.
After dinner you read out a short scenario: ‘A message arrives saying, send money or we share your photo.’ You ask each person, in turn, what they would do first.
What should a good answer sound like?
Show the debrief
A good answer: stop replying, tell a trusted adult, save the messages, do not pay, and use the code word if needed. If anyone suggests hiding it or paying, treat that as a learning moment, not a failure. Update the card with what you learned.
Knowledge check
★ Capstone
Your completed family response plan card
The capstone is how you show you can do the work, not just answer questions. It produces something real that you keep.
- Complete the family response plan card with real names, numbers and locations.
- Write a family tech agreement with at least five clauses, including a no-punishment-for-telling rule.
- Hold one age-appropriate conversation using a script from Module 1 and record two things you noticed.
- Complete the account lock-down steps from Module 3 for at least two accounts.
How it is reviewed
- Plan card names a first call, a backup, a code word and where evidence lives.
- Hotline numbers are accurate and saved on adult phones.
- Tech agreement includes the no-punishment rule and a clear approval process for new apps.
- Account lock-down shows unique passwords and two-step verification.
- Reflection shows calm, non-punishing language.
Pass every module check at 80% or better, finish the capstone, then follow the steps on the credentials page to request your certificate.
Counts toward
Companion playbooks
- Family digital security: share less, separate more
- The family response plan card
- A 20-minute “what would we do?” family drill
- The grooming chain: what adults can notice, and where to break it
- Listening to a child who tells you something hard
AIP Academy courses are awareness and skills training. They are not legal, medical or clinical advice, and an AIP certificate is not a license, state or professional accreditation, CLE credit, or a promise of employment. In an emergency call 911.
Safety is built before the crisis
Pick your part and see it through. Prevention works when people follow through.